pant-pockets

Oh Em Gee offline for over 10 weeks. Has it really been that long without e-mail, youtube, eljay or devart? At least I'm back now.

ART ART ART got a new sketchbook for wishmas today. I'll take a break from my MOUNTAINS of coursework to do some art. I have been doing art, it just normally gets given to people, so I have nothing to show you guys.

If anyone is even reading this.

Which is unlikely.

(btw my mac is being super slow and it takes literally 5 minutes for every page of this site to load, I'm still trying to read the first of the notes I've been sent over the past few weeks. This is irritating...)

I'm taking a well earned rest so that I can *gasp* update my DevArt journal : )
I went back to college to start my BTEC National in Fashion & Clothing a few weeks back. I was horrible at first (our first project was to do a timeline), but we've just started a project on Kimonos which is loads of fun (I did it last year, got an A : ) ).

I don't really click properly with anyone in my course, but I don't hate any of them either so I guess it isn't that bad. I do get two study days a week (Wednesday and Friday) which is super. I've been doing loads of work and once it's all annotated I'll start scanning.

I had a job interview at Sainsbury's today. I've got the job but I'm not sure when I start. I'm working in General Merchandise (cookware, electronics, seasonal, mags etc) with Hayley and Liz. I quit my job at Bay as the pay was shit, and they were really taking advantage of everyone.

I have so much to write but my mind just... isn't  in the mood : / I've been getting quite upset recently. Like, I'm not sure if I'm doing what I want to be doing. It was only yesterday that my passion for design came back to me. I think I just need someone to talk to about this. I never talk to my friends or family about serious stuff because I don't feel it's fair on them : /

Hope everyone had a nice holiday! : ) I just remembered I went to the zoo on Sunday. There were RED PANDAS : D and a lemur sat next to me then did a poo : (

And I bought the cutest Hello Kitty cardi a few weeks back : )

Will be around more... eventually. I'm very, very busy with everything : (

And I've gone back to Gaia. Oh my gosh I am such a loser. Blehh, so I'm there if I'm not at work/out with friends. Sorry. It's addictive.

Miss Battenburg, if anyone wants to add me.

I HAVE A COLD. And my belly is sore : ( I hate colds, as I hate not being able to breathe. I was only able to get into that half-aslep state last night until about... 3am when I finially fell asleep. I had to keep on getting up to blow my nose. I thought I was watching Jonathan Ross when the TV wasn't even on. Bleh... Finially dreamt I was going round town trying to find a little Asian shop to buy some jalebi. I never did, but I really wore myself out with all that walking and when I woke up my legs hurt...

My brother just came in all like 'Buh-grunt, how much to kiwis cost?!' and I'm just like, why would I know that? Why would I, out of everyone he could have asked, known that? Why why why...

I don't associate my art with me. I don't look at it and think 'that's definatly me'. I started drawing Shappi Battenburg when I was doing my art exam work, and studying Chinatsu Ban. After spending years concentrating on things being anatomically correct, seeing and mimicing her childish style felt so liberating. Even though I've really turned Shappi into something unique to me, I don't feel like she represents me very well. I like her and all, but I want to do more stuff in my other style, that I can see and think 'yep, that's me'.

Got a lovely haircut~ It's a bob that's quite shot at the back but swoops down almost to my shoulders at the front, it's fairly layered and I have a sweepy fringe. After having my hair going down my back for quite a few years it just feels so odd. Especially when I wash it, I can't even get hold of the shot bits at the back. Oh, and my skin is looking a lot better, which is nice.

Being ill is so boring. I couldn't work yesterday and spent all day on the sofa, and watched awful tv including three hours of Jerry Springer. Oh my goodness, I was loosing the will to live. And I was annoyed that I could have been earning money in that time! What a waste of a day. AND no one told me that the Russell Brand show was starting at 8 instead of 9 last night and I missed an hour of it. I was Not Impressed.

I should be digidestined! Imagine it! I'd be amazing. Why aren't I? Why can't it be real?? Actually, the wonderfullness of Digimon is that for all we know, it could be real. Even though chances are it isn't. But it should and I should be digidestined! I'd be great~

Working practically full time now. I am tired and achey and irritable.

Got paid today.

I got paid a whole wonderful...

... Forty seven pounds forty seven pence.

For a month's work.

Why?

a they taxed me when they should not have

b they only paid me for my contracted 8 hours a week, I won't get paid my overtime until next month. Had I been paid for what I worked this month, I'd have over two hundred quid.

I've booked myself in to have a decent haircut anyway(costing me thirty two quid). Had the consultation today before work, I'm getting a choppy punky-cutey bob.

My face has broken out really badly. I've never, ever had acne this bad (and I started getting spots when I was three, and was properly diagnosed with acne aged 5). It hurts, and it looks revolting. I feel like I'm letting everyone down, I'm supposed to be working it a shop that aims to make girls my age look and feel great, I just don't feel I deserve to work there looking the way I do.

I hope new hair makes me feel better. I'm going to see my GP about my skin (when I next get a day off). I don't want to have to put up with this anymore. Fourteen years of this is too much, I just feel so disgusting now.

.... : (